His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
