help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
