you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
