Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
