I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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