No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
