I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
