Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
