They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
