i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
