Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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