I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
