Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
