Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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