But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
