i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize