you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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