we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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