There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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