Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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