super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
