You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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