why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
