As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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