I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize