the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
