no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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