4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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