New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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