I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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