my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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