Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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