Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
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Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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