what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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