gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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