Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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