READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
