Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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