Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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