i was born a porn star she said
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
