I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
