why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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