So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
