I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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