I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
