Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
His nipple licking is glorious
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