Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
