I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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