so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
