Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
