And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm at about main and main street
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
