On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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