I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
