it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We were destined to go to rehab together
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
