Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
