I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
