My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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