Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
