I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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