i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
