IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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