yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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