we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
