Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
