Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
