It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
